the story of mckenna riley

 

in ancient times,

hundreds of years before the dawn of history,

there lived a strange race of people - the druids.

no one knows who they were or what they were doing.

but their legacy remains hewn into the living rock

of stonehenge.

 

 

but this tale has absolutely nothing to do with that.

 

 

we begin our story at the beginning, like most stories do,

with the exception of those stories that start in the middle

and sometimes loop around to the beginning

but those stories are usually just the digressions of insane irish people.

as i was saying, behold the belly:

 

it appeared one day without warning

what could be inside?

our fanciful dreaming led to many visions and premonitions

erick could see movement from the outside of the belly

he envisioned a great silent hunter ready to pounce from the depths below:

 

but shannon dismissed erick as a crazy person

she knew that the stomach dweller would be a cute, harmless creature

mayhaps even furry:

 

erick agreed that this was far more likely

he even saw the potential of such a cute, furry, killing machine:

 

but once again, shannon dismissed erick as a crazy person.

after much discussion, they agreed the mysterious visitor would probably look like this:

 

content with their mindset, erick and shannon visited a powerful woman

this woman had a machine that could see through the belly

this is what she found:

 

while shannon stood by the webster hypothesis, erick thought he saw a new resemblance:

 

shannon agreed that this could be a possibility given the father

many weeks passed by

erick and shannon visited another powerful woman with a different machine

and this is what they found:

goldmckenna!

with the webster and devil theories shattered, erick and shannon prepared for their new arrival

in the ensuing weeks they dropped the gold also and just settled on mckenna

then they waited

 

on july 30th, 2003, the wait ended

 

after 12 hours of battle, at 6:11pm during an episode of the simpsoms she appeared:

 

mckenna riley bieger had arrived.

she weighed 7lbs, 10oz and measured 20.5 inches fully stretched.

only days later did erick and shannon realize that she wasn't even gold

 

her mommy thought she was even cuter then webster:

 

her daddy tried to eat her:

shannon said, no no!

 

after a rousing game of pull my finger:

 

mckenna soon tired of her daddy's antics and drifted to sleep:

 

the next day we found mckenna squatting in the hospital's bassinet:

 

we lured her from her lair with the promise of sustenance

she heeded the call:

 

after this snack, mckenna wondered if her meal had been drugged:

 

before this information could be discerned however, she faded into slumber:

 

when next she awoke, mckenna found herself in a strange place called home

 

she found she really liked this new person called mommy:

 

she even began to enjoy the zaniness of the one called daddy:

 

all was well with this new kingdom

and mckenna was at peace:

 

several days passed

 

mckenna was once again in the throes of slumber:

 

without warning, a call came in on her secret line:

 

she listened to a tale of peril and horror

a request was made of mckenna

the world needed saving - and only she could do it.

 

to say the least, mckenna was vexed:

 

she was terribly vexed:

 

the burden of her mission filled her every waking moment:

 

and infiltrated her deepest dreams:

 

though she wanted to, she couldn't tell mommy:

 

and daddy had enough trouble with simple math:

 

after many moons she could take it no more and she cried out in resignation:

 

she would save the world

she would fulfill her destiny

 

with her path set, mckenna once again knew peace:

 

she trained hard after that

by day, she sharpened her skills by sparring with the likes of barkus:

 

and raffi:

 

 

by night she sought her destiny

 

many battles were fought:

 

and many foes were vanquished:

 

in the end, peace reigned supreme

 

the leaders of the land honored mckenna for her deeds:

 

and in return, mckenna humbly acknowledged their accolades:

 

 

and now she waits

knowing that one day she will be called upon again

 

wherever there is evil

wherever there is injustice

you will find her:

mckenna riley bieger

 

 

 

 

the end

(for now....)